Take Charge

Originally Posted on July 24, 2015

When I was first diagnosed with HPV I had different doctors telling me different things.  One doctor said it is a disease I will have to live with for the rest of my life.  Another told me it will clear up on its own.  It was both confusing and overwhelming.  As my situation progressed to severe cervical dysplasia, there seemed to be even more opinions than answers.  That’s when I realized the only opinion I wasn’t considering was my own.  I was fortunate enough to have an incompetent doctor in Moab.  If it wasn’t for her mismanagement of my case, I would have never questioned what the doctors were telling me.  It took a lot of poor communication and bouncing between doctor’s offices for me to realize it was time for me to take charge of my own health.

How often do we trust the doctors blinding, accepting their word as truth?  We’ve been taught from a young age to trust the doctor.  But what about trusting yourself?  It’s my body, who better to assess what’s going on.  At best, a doctor will spend 15 minutes discussing your health history and symptoms, but doesn’t take the time to learn about the emotional or psychological aspects of your illness.  I, on the other hand, have spent nearly 32 years in this body and have an understanding of the inner workings, reactions and emotional history connected to my illness.  With all this insight, why not give myself a little more credit to take care of me?

I knew in my gut that surgery and other medically invasive procedures were not the answer.  It didn’t feel right.  It didn’t make sense to me.  So I started doing my research.  I started at WebMD, and continued reading all the books and articles I could get my hands on.  I educated myself on my own condition.  After months of research, I realized that if I was going to get well, it wasn’t about creating more trauma in my body, but learning to heal the trauma that was already there.

I created a prescription that works for me, including daily meditation, yoga, prayer, visualization, vitamins, supplements, healthy eating, lots of clean water, good sleep and stress reduction.  But to me, it needed to be more than that, I needed to find joy in this journey.  So I decided to plan a road trip; to visit the friends I always say I’m going to visit and hike the trails I’ve always wanted to hike; to reconnect with nature and a slower, stress-free lifestyle; to breathe the fresh air and walk barefoot through the grass.   Mind you, this is not for everyone.  These are the healing modalities that I believe in and I understand they may not work for all.  But the point is, do what resonates with you.  If you don’t like your doctor, find a new one.  If you don’t believe in the form of treatment offered, don’t do it.  Do your research, connect to your intuition and decide for yourself what’s best for your body.  In the end, no one else will take charge of your health but you.

With Love and Light, Courtney